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September 16, 2007

I refuse to believe that this is the end.

I am but one bitch.  But much like the other two... life, she has kicked the shit out of me right now.  We are not done.  I promise.  We still have advice left to give.  But we are on extended summer vacation.  Much like the way summer vacation used to feel when the words "summer" and "vacation" when put into a sentence together actually meant something.

Bonanza is running crazy literally being a soccer mom.  But let me be the first to assure that she is the meanest and bitchiest soccer mom around and if you cross her I have no doubts that the repercussions would be harsh and swift and probably include something painful and unspeakable involving fabulous shoes.  Because she's just that kind of awesome.   And she still thinks your boyfriend is a bum.  We all do.  Especially his wife.

Zube is a new mom.  Enough said.  Which she is doing with plenty of attitude.  We are all quite certain that her daughter will NEVER leave the house in THOSE SHORTS nor will she fall for the lines that some random boy fed her as Zube has translated the entire archives thus far of this website and reads it to her in place of a bedtime story.  I'm thinking of starting a betting pool on what the first word will be.  My money is on some sort of profanity.  Which I think is kind of awesome because she isn't my kid.

Which brings us to me.  Who has no real excuse other than following the pack.  Well, that and getting a house ready to sell.  And moving out of state.  And starting a new job.  All of which combine to bring me to a whole new level of crazy only previously attained by pumping my blood full of various fertility drugs.  Because of this, I ASSURE you it is best that I not answer your questions right now.  Because chances are good that I'll probably just tell you all to shove it.  But in the meantime you should listen up... Men are all assholes until they hit 22.  And then about half of the become human.  That half is either married or gay.  I promise.  Once they hit 25 you get a new batch of good ones.  And then the rumor is they eventually hit 35 and become adults.  I'll let you know.

We will be back.  Very soon I hope.  I'm sorry for the prolonged hiatus with no explanation.  We haven't given you one because we each have our own.  But the guilt was killing me.  And just between you and me, I kind of miss you.  In a bitchy and bossy kind of way of course.